Closing the Chapter to Begin Anew

Hello everyone... I know its been  along while since I've posted on here... or anywhere for that matter... But here I am. A lot has happened in the last few years...

I have moved my office... Expanded my practice and realized it is time to close the chapter of SleevePixie and Bariatric Revisionary once and for all.

I have been toying with the idea for a while now and I really miss the day to day interactions with you all and the fun raffles and things i used to do for you all.

So today, I close the door to open a new one!!! Rachel's Comfy Couch... the practice I opened 4 years ago while you all read and cheered is going strong! It has a new home on Long Island and now it's time for a new blog!!

Please dear read friends new and old... Join me at "Tales from the Couch"!
Below you will find the links to the new Facebook page and the new blog.

Rachel's Comfy Couch - Facebook Page
Tales from the Couch

Things you can look forward to on the new blog and page... Therapeutic wisdom and insight from me, funny pictures, recipes, Questions, guest bloggers, and more! Topics will include, Weight Loss Surgery, depression, anxiety, relationship issues, therapy modalities, trauma talk and anything else you ask for :)

I look forward to seeing you there.

xoxo
SleevePixie

Sin City, A Place of Victory!

It's Monday morning... Just two more nights til I am off to the fabulous Las Vegas also known by many as Sin City. I can only assume it has received its nick name from the various "in your face" taboos. Known for prostitution, gambling, unplanned marriages and alcohol, Vegas is also an amazing place to see shows, eat great food and do things you have never done before!

This will be my second trip to Las Vegas, my first one being last May for the last WLSFA Meet and Greet in 2011. Last May, I was healthy enough to truly enjoy all the wonderful things Vegas has to offer. I was 7 months post my Sleeve and down a significant amount of weight already. I was able to walk up and down the Vegas strip without being in pain and see all the free shows. Mt biggest victory of course was riding the roller coaster at the New York, NY hotel! I hadn't been able to fit in a coaster since I was 16!

So here we are, less then 3 days away from Vegas and I am getting excited for this whole new adventure. This year I am sure a whole new set of victories awaits me. Thursday night I plan on going Zip Lining at Flightlinez on Freemont Street with some of my Bariatric Bad Girls! Zip lining is always something I have wanted to try but never could because I was always over the weight limit. NOT ANYMORE!!! I am also excited nervous ready to bust out my brand new, non plus size bathing suit and catch some sun on Thursday and Friday afternoon. Meet me by the pool and come say HI!

I can only wonder what other adventures this weekend will bring. I know some will be getting tattoos. Others will be catching a show or star watching, as I hear the MGM Awards will be taking place in Vegas on Sunday.

Personally, I am looking forward to seeing old friends, making new ones and having a wonderful and supportive vacation!

Can't wait to see you there!

xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

Passover... a Bariatric Post-op Lesson

Passover is probably my most favorite Jewish Holiday. To all my Jewish readers... wipe that look off your face! Yes I enjoy 8 days of matzah brei and nescafe. lol

I was thinking about this today while i was driving to work before I had  my coffee. Not sure what made me think of it but here it goes...

Passover is a holiday in which we celebrate the exodus from Egypt. We as Jews went from being slaves for 210 years to being free and the whole holiday is very symbolic. During the first two nights of the holidays we hold a feast which is a called a Seder which means order for those of you who don't speak Hebrew. It's a very organized event.

Everything we do, eat, say is very symbolic. We talking a lot about the idea of going from being slaves to free (wo)men. We drink wine and lean to left like kings while drinking and eating.

So I could take this one of two ways... One is the obvious of going from being a slave to our bodies, a slave to food, a slave to disease and then having surgery and being free but that while that's a lovely comparison, that's not where I am going tonight...

I was thinking this morning as I was driving about the concept of eating after weight loss surgery. We go from being slaves to our bodies and food to being... well... slaves to our bodies and food. How sad is that? Some of us are slaves to the scale while others become slaves to calorie counting or exercise or the worst of all... DIETING!!!

I have talked about this a lot in the past... NO MORE DIET MENTALITY!! One of the things I love about Judaism which hits home particularly during certain holidays is the idea of moderation. Jews can do anything but with moderation. We can eat, but not certain things. We can drink but only certain drinks. We can drive and play on facebook and watch TV etc but only on certain days... There is a time and place for everything. Even things we are not supposed to eat, drink and do are permitted under certain circumstances. Nothing is every 100% forbidden. I LOVE THIS!

On passover, we eat in excess, we drink in excess we act like kings for two nights out of the year. We don't feel guilt about it or shame. We are supposed to be excited and full of joy! So to in our post-op lives. I can't tell you how many patients I see that struggle to find balance in their post-op lives. There is a fear of eating certain foods,like a bite of cake, wearing certain clothes, like a bathing suit, going certain places like to a booth in the restaurant. Stop being afraid to live your life! It's ok to eat a bite or two of cake on some occasions! It's ok to show off your new body at times! It's ok to try new experiences and feel good about them! Learn moderation and let that replace the constant diet mentality or abstinence mentality if you will. Everything is ok under certain circumstances.

To me that is the message of Passover. So tomorrow night, I am going to eat a little too much, drink a little too much and feel like a Queen! No guilt, no shame and no self loathing. I'm not cheating, falling off some imaginary wagon, or being a bad girl. I am living life.

I hope you can all experience life the way I have learned to!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

The Moment I have Been Waiting For!!!

My weight                                   His Weight

 The day has finally arrived! After 7+ years of being together and 3.5 years post my first Weight Loss Surgery, I FINALLY  WEIGH LESS THAN THE MISTER!!

I can't describe this feeling. It's amazing! I feel feminine and beautiful and SMALL. It feels like a sense of order has been restored or brought into my world. Today is a super happy day! What makes your day today happy?

xoxo,

Sleeve Pixie

I'm No Beauty Queen, I'm Just Beautiful ME!

"You made me insecure
Told me I wasn't good enough
But who are you to judge
When you're a diamond in the rough
I'm sure you got some things
You'd like to change about yourself
But when it comes to me
I wouldn't want to be anybody else

It's such a funny thing
How nothing's funny when it's you
You tell 'em what you mean
But they keep whiting out the truth"

                  ~Selena Gomez 

                      (Who Says) 

The last two weeks, I have learned so much. Things about me, things I need to change or work on. Hey, no one is perfect right? I am always open to constructive criticism. I am and have always been open and honest with myself and others, perhaps to a fault. Perhaps I have given over too much, trusted too freely. I have to start treating myself like one of my patients.... the strictest of confidentiality. 

I have learned of deception, lies and backstabbing within this community. It makes me sad. But in the last few days, it has really hit home! Two weeks ago, it all started, a miscommunication, a misconception between friends. That's over now and someone else has used the fuel from it's fire. Some one close. THAT hurts. 

Careers have been affected. My career has been affected. Some of my friends have been hit, HARD! It's just not fair. I feel like I am between a rock and hard place personally. Here I am... a professional, a social worker, a helper and a post-op, but what I am even more so than all of those things put together is HUMAN.  A young human at that. 

Someone, I don't know who, sent an anonymous e-mail to my surgeon telling him he should look at my personal facebook. He looked. The whole office saw and he came to me about it. I have never been so mortified in my entire life! My private life, out there in the open now forever mixed in with my professional life. I feel betrayed. My facebook profile is on lock down. NO ONE can see it if they are not friends with me. I made the mistake of letting in one of his staff members. So what was so horrible that I did, that he saw... 

He saw a check-in to Applebee's restaurant in which I proclaimed I'd be having a margarita. He saw two pictures that I was tagged in of me being silly with my girlfriends who came in from out of town to see me and attend a WLS event. He saw me say I had bought a shot glass in the airport in Vegas. I have been collecting shot glasses with my husband since our honeymoon. He may have even seen my pictures from my week in Las Vegas. One in particular where I had a drink in each hand (one of which was not mine) in front of the Treasure Island Hotel. Perhaps he saw the picture I took in front of Margaritaville. Yep, it has been a running joke between my friends that tequila is my drink of choice. They post pics and videos and all sorts of silly things. Lastly, he may have seen the check in at serendipity in which my caption was, "I think I found my dumping ground!" I was in Vegas for a post-op meet and greet. All of this happened after the meet and greet with a post-op friend of mine. I didn't even walk into Serendipity because I knew there was nothing for me there and yes I punned off of "dumping syndrome" on my caption. So what really did my surgeon see. He saw me enjoying my life as a 20-something. Having a drink with some girlfriends and being a normal 26 year old. 

What he didn't see... I walked the Las Vegas strip 4 times in two days. That is 2.5 miles each way. I walked the Vegas Strip 4 times without being in pain, without having to stop and catch my breath, without asking my friends to slow down and wait for me. What he didn't see is I rode the roller coaster at the New York, New York hotel! He didn't comment on the fact that I wrote in sheer excitement that I FIT into a roller coaster for the first time in over 10 years! He didn't see the posts stating I walked over 12,000 steps almost every day I was in Vegas. He didn't see all the amazing things that I take to be a gift he gave me when he performed my surgery 7 months ago. That man gave me my 20s back and all he saw was the things I did that may not align with perfect post-op values or perfect professionalism. 

I will be 26 years old on June 2. I am a normal 26 year old who enjoys going out and being 26. I have a drink or two once in a while. I have fun with my girl friends on occasion. I dance like no one is watching. I am confident and I walk like I am worth a million bucks. Why? Because I am! Those of you who know me, know I am not conceited at all. Many tell me I don't think highly enough of myself, especially on a professional level. I suppose that will come with time though. 

I LOVE my work. I LOVE this community. I would do anything ANYTHING to better it. But I cannot and will not give up my life for it. I left the conversation mortified. I left feeling attacked and judged. I have been a mess for two days now! I have to let it go. My only hope is that other's both professional and not will be able to see me for who I am and not expect me to be someone else. While I agree that I may need to pull in the reins and may need to not give so much away on facebook, and I will work on that, I truly believe that being a post op is about getting your life back and living it to the fullest. For some that is running a marathon or climbing a mountain or wearing that size or seeing that number on the scale. For me, it's about walking the Vegas Strip 4 times in zero pain. 

Thank you for my life back! It is a gift! One I truly cherish! 

I hope each one of my readers will take their gift and live their life in a healthy balanced manner and make sure to never let those moments, those NSVs pass you by!

xoxo

Sleeve Pixie

3 Years...

Today is a somewhat of a bitter sweet day for me. Today would have been my 3 year surgiversary with my lap-band. 3 YEARS.... So much time I wasted... Waiting for my band to work, waiting for my body to work... just waiting.

So instead of sitting here feeling sorry for myself... today will have to be more sweet than bitter! Let me tell you what has changed in 3 years...

1. I am down 106lbs
2. I can buy clothes in a store again
3. I can smile when I see a picture of myself!
4. I can walk a 5k
5. I can run up and down the stairs without wanting to keel over
6. I can wash dishes
7. I can cook dinner
8. I can walk across a parking lot and no longer need to drive around for the closest spot
9. I can sit on a chair without worrying if it will break
10. I can fit in a booth at a restaurant
11. I can wrap a bath towel around my body
12. I lost 80% of my stomach 
13. I have not had cellulitis in 3 years!!!
14. I have not had a gastritis attack in 3 years
15. I run a support group
16. I found my purpose in life
17. I've made hundreds of friends
18. I traveled the east coast!
19. I got my social work license
20. I love waking up every morning!!!

What has changed since your bariatric surgery?

xoxo

Sleeve Pixie

Obesity Help New York Conference!!

Me with Connie Stapleton

Save $30 off of the Long Island, NY Obesity Help Conference with coupon code LEBOWITZNY11


Every year Obesity Help holds roughly 3-5 conferences around the country for people who have had or are looking into weight loss surgery. This year one of those conferences will be in NY, on Long Island on October 21-22. 

The conference features a mixture of professionals such as Connie Stapleton (psychologist - one of my favs), Chef Dave Fouts (bariatric chef), Dr Garth Davis (from Big medicine), Dr. Alvarez (the mexico surgeon - another one of my favs) and Dr. Katzen (one of the most famous bariatric post op plastic surgeons) and a few post-ops who share their stories, wisdom etc... 

Just me and Melting Mama showing some love!

One of the best parts of these conferences is ability to meet other post-ops and be in environment that is truly unique. Everyone is at a different stage in their weight loss and everyone knows what its like to be fat. Each conference is closed with a fashion show and night of fun dancing. I have been to 3 in the past 2 years and I looking forward to attending all 3 conferences this year! 

Me and Dr. Alvarez

Because I have gone through OH support group leader training, OH gives me a discount code to pass out to my friends and support group members. This code is good for $30 off of the $75 price of the conference. Each person who registers under my code also receives a free OH t-shirt and tote bag :-) 




To purchase your ticket for the New York Obesity Help Conference at the super low price of $45 plus a Free OH t-shirt and OH Tote Bag Follow this link and make sure to use my discount code LebowitzNY11


Sexy in the City!
    October 21-22
The New York Conference will be held in the
Hauppauge Sheraton <- Click to book a room! 
Sheraton Long Island - $119+tax per night
110 Motor Parkway
Hauppauge, NY 11788
(631) 231-1100

If you would like more info or have any questions leave a comment below!
I hope you consider coming! 
Can't wait to see you there! 
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

Road Trip Itinerary

Ok friends... here she is! My map of travel around the good ole USA... ok not the whole USA... Just 11 states.

Want to have a meal with me? I want to have a meal with you!! Here we go....

Feb 22 - Leave NY for MD
               Arrive in Gaithersburg, MD
Feb 23 - Family Day
Feb 24 - Maryland get together for lunch or dinner.
              Place TBA... Any suggestions, post below.
Feb 25 - Leave MD for NC
               Richmond, VA get together for Lunch
               Again Place TBA.... Suggestions, post below.
               Dinner in either Charlotte or Raleigh depending on where there is
                   more interest. Discuss Below...
Feb 26 - Leave NC for SC
                Family Day
Feb 27 - Possible Brunch/Lunch in SC if there is any interest.
               Leave SC for GA
Feb 28 - Learning Day for Me
Mar 01 - Lunch in Atlanta, GA
Mar 02 - Learning Day for Me
Mar 03 - Learning Day for Me
               Leave GA to head back up to SC
Mar 04-06 - Family Time
Mar 07 - Leave SC for KY
Mar 08 - Leave KY for WV
               Possible Early Dinner in Lexington KY
               Still Need to find a place to stay in WV
Mar 09 - Leave WV for HOME
               Possible Dinner in Philly, PA

HOME SWEET HOME!

I look forward to meeting as many of you as possible so please get in touch with me ASAP so we can finalize times and places for food! Although many of you have offered to buy my food, please know it is not necessary!

Ok DISCUSS!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

                                                                            

Life is a Highway... the Start of Road Trip Month!

I wanna ride it, ALL NIGHT LONG! Just got home late last night from a mini road trip with Beth (Melting Mama). I had sooo much fun! Friday morning I started off bright and early by getting my car fixed and my coffee fix :-) I was awaiting the green light to hear that Beth was feeling well enough to have some fun!

At 9:29am I got the ding on my CrackBerry. A message from Beth, "All Done. Come Play!" I finished packing jumped in the shower and left the house around 11am. On the road again... The drive was quick. I had my ipod blaring, the windows down my GPS on and away I went. Found myself some food along the way at one of the rest areas which I proceeded to eat while driving because I didn't want to waste any time... Well, wouldn't ya know... Dumping and driving is soooooo not a fun experience. Thankfully the feeling came and went pretty quickly... With my band it used to be that I was afraid to eat and drive because it almost surely meant stopping on the shoulder of the highway to hurl. Well, now the food stays down, which is nice but Dumping and Driving should be illegal!

4 hours later and 1 wrong turn, I found the Casa De Mr and Mrs. MM.

When Beth saw me she said, "OMG you so skinny!" and she was actually able to wrap her arms around my waist and touch her wrists. That was an awesome feeling for me. I can always tell when people have to stretch to  hug me and I could feel the room between my back and her hands. NSV for me! I fit in the "tinier that you thought she was in person's" hug! woohoo.

Off we went to find the nearest Starbucks to feed our caffeine addiction... then to Lowell, MA for the Diva Taunia Burlesque show... Although we got stuck in a bit of traffic and had to veer off and find a pit stop. the only one we wound required a purchase to use the John, so Beth bought a super yummy wrap that we split for dinner.

We eventually made it! Checked in to the hotel (which had a bar at the check in counter for those of us who apparently can't cope with vacation and must get loaded PRONTO) for the night and foursquare of course... got all sexified and back in the car.

The burlesque show was fun! Lots of nakedness and drunkenness for sure but we danced, transfer adictioned, took some photos and made the best of it :-)

At the show we met up with fellow Bad Girl Lynn V Sleeve (Band to VSG). It was so great to meet her and her hubby after talking to her for a the last few month on the infamous FB.

After the show I was hungry so I starting looking for some food to take back to the telle. Chili's - closed, outback - closed, 99 - closed..... ugh!!! Fast food - Cha-ching! Thank goodness for the dollar menu lol.

Back to the hotel had me a few bites of food and got sick as a dog! Fell asleep dumping... that's always fun!

I don't dump often even though it sounds like I do... but I still haven't figured out exactly what it is I dump on.

Day 2... Woke up early in the morning, around 9:30am and started to get ready for day 2. Day two we will call Transfer Addiction road trip. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a smoker. I have been since the age of 14. It is a habit I have tried kicking several times over but right now I feel it is much more important to work on my food addiction that my smoking one. All at once is just too much for me. Thankfully, like the amount of food I intake, the amount I smoke has decreased drastically since my VSG. I used to smoke a pack+ daily and I am down to a pack every 3 days. *pats self on back :-)

Considering a pack of cigarettes is $10 here in NY I
dragged Beth up to New Hampshire where they are half the price. But for some reason we couldn't find them anywhere!!!

Our travels led us to Nashua Nutrition, where we got some "pouchworthy" products as MM calls em. Best $20 I ever spent :-) I love love love their protein bars. It tastes like candy :-)

Our travels led us to a nice big liquor store, where we found some perty bottles.*

Beth enjoyed the pink tequila....

         

...While I enjoy the clearer, smother Don Julio!!

Our travels led us next to a smoke shop that I almost got thrown out of for telling the sales guy that his incense smelled like pot residue. Ugh, lets keep it all hush hush because no one knows that folks who walk into a "smoke shop" use all your glass blown pieces and "water pipes" for POT/WEED/MARIJUANA!! Seriously...

Finally we found what I went looking for and started to head back to Massachusetts. We bumped into Mr. MM on the ride home and before we knew it we made it back to Casa de Mr. and Mrs. MM. It was time to say goodbye (too soon - I contemplated stealing Beth and bringer her back to NY) but I had a looong trip still ahead of me. I got home at about 9:15pm and after a little facebook lovin' went to bed!

I look forward to my WLS Road Trip Part 2, which will begin Next Tuesday! Check in tomorrow for details because I want to see you!!!!

*** NOTE: No Alcohol was harmed during the making of this film :-)
Thanks to Mr. MM and family for loaning Beth to me for 24 hours! Thanks to Beth for making it so much fun!

xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

Me? Bad-Ass?

Last night, I had a heart to heart with a good friend of mine about my recent struggles and frustrations. He told me, "You are a magical person and I love your 're-vision' article and your blog. You have the capacity to be a POWER-house".

He was totally right. I had forgotten for a moment, even if only a brief one, what I was doing. I fell to the back of the line because I was too tired of pushing to the front. I was ready to give up and again admit defeat. That is the self saboteur in me.. She figures out how to pick the lock on her cage every now and again no matter what I do to keep her at bay. As I sat there talking to my friend, I found myself complaining about my life, my situation my DRAMA.

Then he said something to me that I don't even think he knows meant much of anything to me. He said, remember "it's only temporary!"

Huh? What do you mean it's only temporary?? It's RIGHT NOW!! I hate this situation RIGHT NOW!! I don' care that it will not be the case in 10 minutes or 10 days or even 10 months, but RIGHT NOW I am struggling... Then it hit me... like a ton of bricks... This is the addict in me talking!! This impulsive I want it and I want it NOW behavior and way of thinking is the addict in me coming out to rear its ugly head.. I have been working so hard on the abstinence of the drug of my choosing (food) that I have over looked the addict within me and she has been waiting silently for the right moment, the right opportunity to strike!

Perhaps one may even call it a transfer of addictions... I can no longer use food to cover up my feelings so now I cling to anger, depression, drama, the thrill of the fight, the choosing of the sides, the win, the kill, the BULL! I have to stop! I have to refocus and retrain the little me who is still an addict and perhaps always will be.  I have to learn to change my ways of coping with... whatever the RIGHT NOW is.

Now I will be the first to admit, this is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Change your essence. Everything about you and your life has fostered and nourished the addict in you. From your enablers to your self sabotaging behaviors. I admire you for even taking the first step on this long hard journey. But I promise the end more than justifies the means!

It was suggested last night that I make a list of all the "bad-ass" things about me... I started to think... I am going to tell the world about my bad-assness lol Blogspot here I come and watch out! Then I thought... hmmm... What is bad-ass about me?

Do you know whats bad-ass about you?? Well let me start you off... You are currently reading my blog. I think that is pretty darn bad-ass if I do say so myself :-) Now you finish! Make a list of what is bad ass about you!! Put in a journal, on a blog, leave it in my comments below if you want to. But you should know what is bad-ass about yourself. So here is my list.... My friend started me off by telling me being an LMSW (Licensed Master Social Worker). is pretty bad ass bad-ass...

In case you are having some trouble with your list... Let me define BAD-ASS for you!

BAD-ASS
1. adjective. having extremely favorable qualities
2. adjective. pertaining to a person or thing that is rugged, strong, and/or ready to show these qualities
3. noun. person who is perceived to have the qualities in definition 2
What Makes Me A Bad-Ass!

1. I am an LMSW 
2. I am an OH SGL
3. I am a "Revision"ary
4. I can go over an hour on the elliptical
5. I am 296.4lbs as of this morning! 
6. I write a pretty bad-ass blog!
7. I am beautiful inside and out.
8. I am sexy and desirable.
9. I have integrity.
10. I am open, honest, empathetic and welcoming to all.
11. I am a giver.
12. I can have a drink with the boys and put on make-up with the girls
13. I have a great sense of self confidence and self worth
14. I have a group of bad-ass friends that love me unconditionally! 
15. I met the man of my dreams
16. I married the man of my dreams
17. I am on the path to live up to my greatest potential
18. I take full advantage of my opportunities
19. I take risks
20. I have unbelievable insight into myself.

If I sat here for a few more hours I can definitely come up with a much better list but for now 20 will have to do. I will write this list on paper and keep it somewhere that I can add to it as things pop into my head or happen. How is your list shaping up?

Remember we are all bad-ass in one way or another!
in love and support
Sleeve Pixie