Dear Obesity...

Dear Obesity,

There is honestly nothing dear about you... We first met at my birth. I was over 9lbs. Big baby! We continued our "friendship" throughout my childhood. I was cute, chubby, but not yet obese.

You started to rear your ugly head in about 2nd grade. You showed your red flags. I didn't know yet that you would be abusive. It started slowly. At first, you made my peers laugh at me and call me names. You started to isolate me.

Then you made me feel like a ton of bricks when my family couldn't carry me around anymore. They told me I was a big girl. Back then I thought it meant "grown up" but now I know I was wrong. As more time went on you made me feel insecure and weak. You made me think I was the problem. I wasn't... YOU were.

You cheated me. Robbed me of confidence and sense of self. I hid behind many masks as a young kid. Big frumpy clothes was a big defense for me. I hid you because I was ashamed of you. My shame only fed you and made you stronger. You stole away my summers. I never wanted to wear a bathing suit. Even in camp, the pool was torture. I believe everyone was staring at me, mocking me, mocking you...

My family tried to save me from you by sending me to fat camp. It helped in a way. You still controlled my body but I got back my mind. I found the confidence you snatched away from me all those years ago. I no longer looked at the floor when I walked through the crowds at school. I no longer wore baggy clothes and started to try new styles. As hard as I tried to overcome you... I failed... So many times I failed...

Things were a little better in high school. I didn't let you stop me from making friends or playing sports or even the occasional date. But you still continued to make things rough. People still made fun of me. You made me a doormat. I did everything for everyone. I had to work harder to make friends because you made it so hard for people to even want to give me a shot.

At the age of 16 you started to gain control again. Remember, it was the day you stopped me from riding the roller coaster. I gave up a big part of me to you that day. You took my BF next when he told me he no longer found me attractive. You stole my prom away from me. My date was a female friend. You took away my comfort every time I sat down to eat in public, every time I looked at a chair or a booth or a bathroom stall. You robbed me of the freedom of doing all the things my friends did because you instilled in me a fear that told me I couldn't.

The worst came when I met my now ex-husband... thanks a lot for that btw... You robbed my marriage blind for years. You made me wear a machine over my face each night when I went to bed. You stole from me 2502 nights that I could never sleep in his arms. You stole from me... the abilty to cook him dinner and the ability to clean our house. But there was nothing worse then you stealing away my ability to give him a child.

As much as you stole from me, the worst part of it all... I completely let you... Eventually my ex got tired of being robbed and so did I.

I made the decision then and there you wouldn't be allowed to control me anymore. You wouldnt tell me not to walk there, sit in that chair, get on that amusement park ride, talk to that guy, buy that dress, go to the beach or anything else you never allowed me to do. You are no longer allowed to make me feel bad or ugly or shameful. I now know that I am beautiful and worthy of more then you ever allowed me to have. So good bye obesity. I am taking the keys and getting in the drivers seat of my own life. FOR GOOD!!
 
Since I've let you go, I've walked... the Brooklyn Bridge and the runway. I've rode the roller coasters in Las Vegas and Coney Park. I've spoken to that guy... and that one and that one too, while wearing that dress on the beach! With all this new found control over my life... who knows what I'll do next!
 
xoxo
SleevePixie
 

When Doctors Judge Their Obese Patients. How Do We Avoid This?

When Doctors Judge Their Obese Patients

David Katz, M.D..Director of Yale University's Prevention Research Center
Posted: March 16, 2011 08:11 AM

"I saw a patient in my clinic last week who came to me for ... never mind. I am now her doctor; she is now my patient. What happens between us is private and privileged, and none of your business.
But in one regard, this patient was a prototype of countless others, and that can, and perhaps should, be everybody's business. She was heavy. She was very, very heavy.... (cont reading)

The article above has sparked many discussions recently in the bariatric community. We were all over weight before our WLS and some of us still are. It is a harsh reality that many doctors judge us, make us feel unwelcome and research shows that bias from the doctors towards obese people often prevent us from getting the proper medical care we need!

I can ramble off many obese people who have chosen not to see a doctor for years now because their prior experiences have been less than comfortable. It is time to take action! you have to know that it is not ok to be treated this way! Doctors have to realize that we deserve TLC, especially C no matter what we weigh or look like!

Here are a few things you can do to prevent feeling less than human when you go to a doctor!!

There are lists out there of "fat-friendly" doctors.
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/fat/ffp.html
http://homepage.mac.com/joeobrin/FatDoc/FatDoc.html
http://www.plussizeyellowpages.com/Size_Friendly_Health_Professionals.htm
 
 
There are also questions that can be asked over the phone that will tell someone whether their doctor is "fat-friendly". Ask if the waiting room has bariatric sized chairs, if they have a large blood pressure cuff handy, if they have plus sized gowns and what the maximum weight is on the scale in the office. Also how the staff reacts when you ask them to look up this information is a huge indicator of the feel in the office.


One woman I know goes as far as to get the doctor ont he phone and ask the doctor if she is comfortable touching fat people? No one likes to be diagnosed from across the room!

If you have any suggestions to add to this list please post below!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

A HEAVY Discussion...

So I just finished watching Heavy, the new A&E series and I wanted to share with you my thoughts. At first I was like ugh... Intervention meets Biggest Loser... I didn't really have very high expectations of the show to be honest.

Tom... WOW! He lost a whole damn person in 6 months even with the setback in month 2! Bless his fat soul! I have to say I was kinda shocked to hear his drive through order of 6 JUNIOR bacon cheezies and 3 spicy nuggets... It wasn't so much the quantity or whatever but the psychology behind it all... Yes I am a social worker and I perceive and analyze the world through those lenses. I am willing to bet he justified eating 6 burgers to himself by ordering junior size... Now me personally, I would rather order 3 doubles... bc my head would say, 3 isn't so bad but 6.... NO WAY! It's just interesting. I have been reading the twiterverse tag #HEAVY and damn people were ragging on poor Tom.

• Wow, Tom has a Bowling Ball made of FAT on his leg!
• If I get so fat that all I can wear is stretchy pants and tshirts please shoot me
• How does anyone let themselves get to look like Tom
• Tom is one HEAVY fat tub of lard

DAMN YA'LL!!! Give the man a break! Clearly he's got some addiction and emotional issues happening there! And please... get your self some edumacation... I hate ignorant people! I have to say towards the end of the show I was super proud of Tom and I feel some sort of connection to him. Probably because he is a fighter and so am I and I totally get the enabling family thing he's got goin' on!

Now Jodi... Jodi Jodi Jodi.... She pissed me the F**K off! She did nothing but whine the whole first half hour. She doomed herself for failure before she even took her first step of the damn journey. Now I can understand that but seriously woman... Have even a glimmer of hope before you give up. Its like starting a diet a week before a big party. You go in there knowing you are gonna fall of the wagon Friday night. Why bother to start a Journey with your head in the sand. She made one excuse after the next, her husband, her mother, her addiction... STOP IT ALREADY! Not that I'm not sympathetic but I don't want to hear about it. I can't pity those who pity themselves... Just not my style.

I did however feel a bit of connection to her when she broke into twoderville. That is something I have been struggling with for the last two weeks. It made me hopeful for myself for a second. (300.4 this morning!)

Then at the end she just pissed me off again... She said she did it the right way or the hard way or something to that effect.... through hard work diet and exercise... KISS MY BUTT!!! You did it because some camera followed your ass around for 6 months and paid for your gym membership, food and personal trainer. If I had all that I could do it too... But you don;t hear me complaining. I make my life work! I am doing it the hard way. Dumping, and vitamins and blood work and surgery and major food changes and exercise. That majorly bothered me... 

Overall... will I watch this show again... PROBABLY... Am I hooked and in love and inspired and motivated... Not even an ounce... Sorry... I was not that impressed.

For those of you who liked it and found it motivational and inspiring GREAT... just not my cup of protein shake.

xoxo

Sleeve Pixie

A&E Premiers... HEAVY

Oh look... Another series poking fun a fat people... Big surprise... A&E is known for everything from Interventions & hoarders to ghost and bounty hunters now losers.... Couldn't they just toss these people on the intervention show and call them food addicts... I mean hey, it wouldn't be a lie...

A&E is "Real Life. Drama." A&E is television that you can't turn away from; where unscripted shows are dramatic and scripted dramas are authentic. A&E offers a diverse mix of high quality entertainment ranging from the network's original scripted series to signature nonfiction franchises, including the Emmy-winning "Intervention," "Dog The Bounty Hunter," "Hoarders," "Paranormal State" and "Criss Angel Mindfreak".

Who am I fooling... I just set three alarms to remind me to turn this show on tonight.... I doubt I'll learn anything new but hey, ya never know? So If you want to know what the show it about...

FAT PEOPLE... In the premiere episode, viewers meet Tom and Jodi, both 37 from Houston, TX, and learn why they are heavy and how they must reverse their lifestyles or die. Tom was the star of his high school football team, but when he dropped out his depression caused him to steadily gain weight. Now, at 5-foot-9 and 638 pounds, Tom suffers from a myriad of issues including sleep apnea, edema and the inability to sleep more than two hours. He is desperate to get his life back before he loses it permanently. Having recently suffered a stroke, Jodi, 5-foot-6 and 363 pounds, is at a critical juncture with her health. Her heaviness prevents her from keeping up with her husband and two children and from her favorite pastime, singing with her brothers in a band.

The show takes each one of us on their contestants 6 week journey in which A&E tells us, they use healthy methods, like a diet program to lose weight... no WLS or Biggest Loserness involved... I will judge that for myself... thank you!

More on HEAVY, later!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie