Passover... a Bariatric Post-op Lesson

Passover is probably my most favorite Jewish Holiday. To all my Jewish readers... wipe that look off your face! Yes I enjoy 8 days of matzah brei and nescafe. lol

I was thinking about this today while i was driving to work before I had  my coffee. Not sure what made me think of it but here it goes...

Passover is a holiday in which we celebrate the exodus from Egypt. We as Jews went from being slaves for 210 years to being free and the whole holiday is very symbolic. During the first two nights of the holidays we hold a feast which is a called a Seder which means order for those of you who don't speak Hebrew. It's a very organized event.

Everything we do, eat, say is very symbolic. We talking a lot about the idea of going from being slaves to free (wo)men. We drink wine and lean to left like kings while drinking and eating.

So I could take this one of two ways... One is the obvious of going from being a slave to our bodies, a slave to food, a slave to disease and then having surgery and being free but that while that's a lovely comparison, that's not where I am going tonight...

I was thinking this morning as I was driving about the concept of eating after weight loss surgery. We go from being slaves to our bodies and food to being... well... slaves to our bodies and food. How sad is that? Some of us are slaves to the scale while others become slaves to calorie counting or exercise or the worst of all... DIETING!!!

I have talked about this a lot in the past... NO MORE DIET MENTALITY!! One of the things I love about Judaism which hits home particularly during certain holidays is the idea of moderation. Jews can do anything but with moderation. We can eat, but not certain things. We can drink but only certain drinks. We can drive and play on facebook and watch TV etc but only on certain days... There is a time and place for everything. Even things we are not supposed to eat, drink and do are permitted under certain circumstances. Nothing is every 100% forbidden. I LOVE THIS!

On passover, we eat in excess, we drink in excess we act like kings for two nights out of the year. We don't feel guilt about it or shame. We are supposed to be excited and full of joy! So to in our post-op lives. I can't tell you how many patients I see that struggle to find balance in their post-op lives. There is a fear of eating certain foods,like a bite of cake, wearing certain clothes, like a bathing suit, going certain places like to a booth in the restaurant. Stop being afraid to live your life! It's ok to eat a bite or two of cake on some occasions! It's ok to show off your new body at times! It's ok to try new experiences and feel good about them! Learn moderation and let that replace the constant diet mentality or abstinence mentality if you will. Everything is ok under certain circumstances.

To me that is the message of Passover. So tomorrow night, I am going to eat a little too much, drink a little too much and feel like a Queen! No guilt, no shame and no self loathing. I'm not cheating, falling off some imaginary wagon, or being a bad girl. I am living life.

I hope you can all experience life the way I have learned to!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

I'm No Beauty Queen, I'm Just Beautiful ME!

"You made me insecure
Told me I wasn't good enough
But who are you to judge
When you're a diamond in the rough
I'm sure you got some things
You'd like to change about yourself
But when it comes to me
I wouldn't want to be anybody else

It's such a funny thing
How nothing's funny when it's you
You tell 'em what you mean
But they keep whiting out the truth"

                  ~Selena Gomez 

                      (Who Says) 

The last two weeks, I have learned so much. Things about me, things I need to change or work on. Hey, no one is perfect right? I am always open to constructive criticism. I am and have always been open and honest with myself and others, perhaps to a fault. Perhaps I have given over too much, trusted too freely. I have to start treating myself like one of my patients.... the strictest of confidentiality. 

I have learned of deception, lies and backstabbing within this community. It makes me sad. But in the last few days, it has really hit home! Two weeks ago, it all started, a miscommunication, a misconception between friends. That's over now and someone else has used the fuel from it's fire. Some one close. THAT hurts. 

Careers have been affected. My career has been affected. Some of my friends have been hit, HARD! It's just not fair. I feel like I am between a rock and hard place personally. Here I am... a professional, a social worker, a helper and a post-op, but what I am even more so than all of those things put together is HUMAN.  A young human at that. 

Someone, I don't know who, sent an anonymous e-mail to my surgeon telling him he should look at my personal facebook. He looked. The whole office saw and he came to me about it. I have never been so mortified in my entire life! My private life, out there in the open now forever mixed in with my professional life. I feel betrayed. My facebook profile is on lock down. NO ONE can see it if they are not friends with me. I made the mistake of letting in one of his staff members. So what was so horrible that I did, that he saw... 

He saw a check-in to Applebee's restaurant in which I proclaimed I'd be having a margarita. He saw two pictures that I was tagged in of me being silly with my girlfriends who came in from out of town to see me and attend a WLS event. He saw me say I had bought a shot glass in the airport in Vegas. I have been collecting shot glasses with my husband since our honeymoon. He may have even seen my pictures from my week in Las Vegas. One in particular where I had a drink in each hand (one of which was not mine) in front of the Treasure Island Hotel. Perhaps he saw the picture I took in front of Margaritaville. Yep, it has been a running joke between my friends that tequila is my drink of choice. They post pics and videos and all sorts of silly things. Lastly, he may have seen the check in at serendipity in which my caption was, "I think I found my dumping ground!" I was in Vegas for a post-op meet and greet. All of this happened after the meet and greet with a post-op friend of mine. I didn't even walk into Serendipity because I knew there was nothing for me there and yes I punned off of "dumping syndrome" on my caption. So what really did my surgeon see. He saw me enjoying my life as a 20-something. Having a drink with some girlfriends and being a normal 26 year old. 

What he didn't see... I walked the Las Vegas strip 4 times in two days. That is 2.5 miles each way. I walked the Vegas Strip 4 times without being in pain, without having to stop and catch my breath, without asking my friends to slow down and wait for me. What he didn't see is I rode the roller coaster at the New York, New York hotel! He didn't comment on the fact that I wrote in sheer excitement that I FIT into a roller coaster for the first time in over 10 years! He didn't see the posts stating I walked over 12,000 steps almost every day I was in Vegas. He didn't see all the amazing things that I take to be a gift he gave me when he performed my surgery 7 months ago. That man gave me my 20s back and all he saw was the things I did that may not align with perfect post-op values or perfect professionalism. 

I will be 26 years old on June 2. I am a normal 26 year old who enjoys going out and being 26. I have a drink or two once in a while. I have fun with my girl friends on occasion. I dance like no one is watching. I am confident and I walk like I am worth a million bucks. Why? Because I am! Those of you who know me, know I am not conceited at all. Many tell me I don't think highly enough of myself, especially on a professional level. I suppose that will come with time though. 

I LOVE my work. I LOVE this community. I would do anything ANYTHING to better it. But I cannot and will not give up my life for it. I left the conversation mortified. I left feeling attacked and judged. I have been a mess for two days now! I have to let it go. My only hope is that other's both professional and not will be able to see me for who I am and not expect me to be someone else. While I agree that I may need to pull in the reins and may need to not give so much away on facebook, and I will work on that, I truly believe that being a post op is about getting your life back and living it to the fullest. For some that is running a marathon or climbing a mountain or wearing that size or seeing that number on the scale. For me, it's about walking the Vegas Strip 4 times in zero pain. 

Thank you for my life back! It is a gift! One I truly cherish! 

I hope each one of my readers will take their gift and live their life in a healthy balanced manner and make sure to never let those moments, those NSVs pass you by!

xoxo

Sleeve Pixie

Dining Out post WLS

While I know it is probably best not to dine out much after WLS, there are occasions that call for meals in a restaurant. Yesterday I went to Atlantic City to meet up with a few post-op friends. When the time came to sit down for lunch we chose a place and began scouting the menu.

We decided on sharing an appetizer so we wouldn't have left overs to carry around. For 3 of us the bill was relatively small. I didn't think much about it then but the thought hit me later on... We probably did not leave a big enough tip!

Now that we eat so much less, I know I tend to order so much less. While that is great for my wallet, the person who gets the short end of the stick is usually your server.

Pre-WLS, think about how much you used to spend dining out with one person. Take a place like TGIFridays... a place I used to frequent before my WLS days. When I went with my husband, we used to share an appetizer, get two meals and either 1 or 2 desserts. Plus the two sodas I drank with my meal. The server has been to my table about 6 times brought us many many soda refills without being asked usually and the bill wound up coming to somewhere between $50-$60. Right? Story sound familiar?

Post-WLS, hypothetically, My hubby and I go to TGIFridays (which we do every other month or so) and he orders the 3 course meal for 17 dollars. Generally he will get the green bean fries, some type of fish and dessert. What do I order.... Nothing! We share. Why... Because I cannot eat more than 4 ounces of food in one sitting. I no longer order a soda or anything else to drink because if it's there I will drink with my meal and I don't want to do that so I just skip it all together, I will have two green bean fries, about 3oz of his fish and one bite of whatever dessert he orders, if there is still room, which usually there isn't. So this now cuts our bill in half to about $25. The server has still been to the table at least times, still brings hubby his soda refills and does a little less work.

Now we get the bill. Generally we leave a 20% tip which would amount to about $5. Is that enough? I don't think so... What do you think? the odds are, unless you have been a server at one point in your life you probably don't think much about this. I didn't either until yesterday and I have been a post-op for 3 years! I think perhaps we should start tipping as if we were eating two meals. What do you think?

xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

A&E Premiers... HEAVY

Oh look... Another series poking fun a fat people... Big surprise... A&E is known for everything from Interventions & hoarders to ghost and bounty hunters now losers.... Couldn't they just toss these people on the intervention show and call them food addicts... I mean hey, it wouldn't be a lie...

A&E is "Real Life. Drama." A&E is television that you can't turn away from; where unscripted shows are dramatic and scripted dramas are authentic. A&E offers a diverse mix of high quality entertainment ranging from the network's original scripted series to signature nonfiction franchises, including the Emmy-winning "Intervention," "Dog The Bounty Hunter," "Hoarders," "Paranormal State" and "Criss Angel Mindfreak".

Who am I fooling... I just set three alarms to remind me to turn this show on tonight.... I doubt I'll learn anything new but hey, ya never know? So If you want to know what the show it about...

FAT PEOPLE... In the premiere episode, viewers meet Tom and Jodi, both 37 from Houston, TX, and learn why they are heavy and how they must reverse their lifestyles or die. Tom was the star of his high school football team, but when he dropped out his depression caused him to steadily gain weight. Now, at 5-foot-9 and 638 pounds, Tom suffers from a myriad of issues including sleep apnea, edema and the inability to sleep more than two hours. He is desperate to get his life back before he loses it permanently. Having recently suffered a stroke, Jodi, 5-foot-6 and 363 pounds, is at a critical juncture with her health. Her heaviness prevents her from keeping up with her husband and two children and from her favorite pastime, singing with her brothers in a band.

The show takes each one of us on their contestants 6 week journey in which A&E tells us, they use healthy methods, like a diet program to lose weight... no WLS or Biggest Loserness involved... I will judge that for myself... thank you!

More on HEAVY, later!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

Dumping: A Reality of the Gastric Sleeve

So here I am, 26 minutes before the ball drops... and I am sick as a rabid dog. It is official... I have been in denial of this fact for a a little over a month and a half.

I AM A DUMPER!!! 

In fact, I am dumping as I type this blog entry. I feel gross.... So I am going to keep this short and sweet and go lie down.

The Mayo Clinic defines dumping syndrome as....

...a group of symptoms most likely to develop if you've had surgery to remove all or part of your stomach, or if your stomach has been surgically bypassed to help lose weight. occurs when the undigested contents of your stomach are transported or "dumped" into your small intestine too rapidly.

Generally we hear amongst the WLS community that sugar, carbs and fat will cause this to happen. For me this is true. I ate way too many carby audervs took 3 sips of alcohol and  topped it all off with pudding pie for dessert. I know, I know not the greatest choices but I am of the belief that this is not a diet but my life so if I want to eat pudding pie with my family on New Years Eve, then I am gonna do it! I am also going to accept that I will have to pay the piper for my actions. Believe me, I am not bitching. I am just telling you this happens.

The Symptoms of dumping may include all or some of the following:

1. Cramping or pain

2. Nausea

3. Diarrhea

4. Vomiting

5. Sweating

6. Fast Heart Rate

7. Tiredness

From the things I hear from my bypass friends... everyone experiences it differently. I get nausea, fast heart rate and tiredness.

Many surgeon's websites etc will tell you us sleevers don't dump because our Pylorus is preserved which is supposed to hold the food in our bananas but I have heard of many sleevers experience dumping. Last I checked it's about 3%. But that statistic is word of mouth and I have yet to find a study to verify that.

There is nothing, that I know of, you can do to stop the dumping episode once it's starts. You just have to wait it out and it will eventually pass. It is the worst feeling EVER!!!

I just wanted to throw that out there. It is NOT just bypassers!!! It is now 3 to midnight and I must go kiss my hubby for New Years.
Happy New Year!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

When You Can't Afford Your Health... Bah Humbug

As the holiday season is upon us, and everywhere you go the Christmas songs are playing, the world is usually in holiday spirits... As for me, all I have to say is "Bah Humbug". This morning I awoke to find myself in a familiar predicament. As we were sitting around the table eating breakfast my step-dad shared that he had been laid off from his job. Aside for the fact that jobs are scare to begin with, my step-dad is a Jeweler and with the passing of Christmas the Jewelry market essentially shuts down for the month of January. This means for us, that he has no chance of getting work til the end of January early February. Although my mom works, she doesn't make enough to cover the mortgage, the house bills, the food etc... We are all scared, especially me.

For a period of time when I had my lap-band, my husband and I were living in an apartment we couldn't afford and we were lucky to have one meal a day. We just couldn't afford to eat. As a result, the small amounts of money we did have usually wound up being spent on pizza or fast food because it was way cheaper that buying salads, chicken, fish etc.. I remember nights where we would turn the apartment upside down looking for lost change to buy food. This led us to having to move in with my mom a year ago because we just couldn't keep ourselves afloat. Well, here we are again. My parents are talking about what to do if they can't make the mortgage and it just takes me right back.

Healthy food is sooo expensive and there is so little I can actually get down. I don't want to fill my sleeve wit Pizza and junk food. I want to succeed. I NEED to succeed. I am afraid I will no longer be able to afford my vitamins or my health insurance. I already had to give my license plates back to the DMV due to an old lapse in insurance coverage. The second one in the last 3 years. I am afraid I wont have money to go to the gym and its just way too damn cold to go out walking.

What do you do, when you just can't afford to be healthy? Well, I refuse to fail. I refuse to let this get me down. I can't be that person anymore. So I have come up with a meal plan that will have to work for me, until this passes... This too shall pass...

My New Meal Plan 4 of these meals every day:
Chobani Yogurt w SF syrup
Egg Beaters with Organic Veggies
Canned Tuna with I tsp on RF Mayo
Organic Salad with Tuna
Protein Shake made with Skim Plus
1 slice of chicken breast with 1 slice of part skim cheese

This will bring my weekly grocery bill for just myself to $45 a week or $6.43 a day. This is less than the cost of a value meal at the local fast food joint. It's Healthy, full of protein and vitamins and minerals and will help me succeed. I AM A WINNER!! Granted I would also have to add approximately $25 a month to buy protein powder but it just so happens that I have one tub at home to start with. So that will save me some money for now.

Whenever things seem bleak and you don;t know how you can move forward... know there is always a way. Clip coupons, shop online for the best deals before you visit the stores, so whatever you have to do to make this work!

Wishing you all a happy holiday season!
xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

R.E.S.P.E.C.T... Gastric Bypass??

Rumors are spinning that Ms. RESPECT herself is now one of us!! Reports are saying Ms. Aretha Franklin underwent Gastric Bypass Surgery yesterday and the surgery went extremely well with no complications.

"Legendary soul singer Aretha Franklin feels like a new woman one day after undergoing successful gastric bypass, aka weight loss surgery.

“The surgery was highly successful,” Aretha said in a statement to Access Hollywood following the procedure. “God is still in control. I had superb doctors and nurses whom were blessed by all the prayers of the city and the country. God bless you all for your prayers!”

Franklin, 68, had the surgery yesterday following a Prayer vigil organized by the City Council in her hometown of Detroit, MI."

Funny to read because in an interview from 2007... Ms. Aretha said she would NEVER have surgery to lose weight because she knows too many women who have had struggles from RNY. I wonder if she has been reading some of my friends blogs??

It's no secret you've had some struggles with your weight in recent years. 

Who hasn't had a weight issue? If not the body, certainly the big head! (Laughs.) But I have no such issues now. 

How much have you lost? 

A lot of weight. I won't say the number, but I found the magic numbers on the treadmill. Slowly but surely. It's all happy. 

No surgery? 

I would never, ever do that. I know many women [who had gastric bypass surgery] who are having a bad time now, unfortunately. It's nothing I would ever do.  

I guess we will have to wait and see for the story to unfold. If she did have WLS I hope she recovers well and is successful. If not, I still hope she recovers well from whatever is ailing her!

xoxo
Sleeve Pixie

Happy Chanukah!! The Festival of Light

Today is day 2 of the 8 day Jewish Holiday Called Chanukah (can you CH flem? If not, replace the CH with an H).

Chanukah is a time for family, celebration and joy -- and also a time for remembering the reasons for celebrating. 


This holiday is often called the "Festival of Light" and to me, its a time of newness and a time to start over. On the first night of this holiday we thank God for sustaining our lives so that we could experience a moment of joy. It reminds us that life is a gift and helps us to appreciate when something good happens.

Please don't think I am in any way pushing God or religion down your throat. That just isn't my style... If you believe in God, you do, if you don't, you don't. But I think the message is still relevant.

Today, we can be thankful for being alive. We didn't die on the table! We got our obesity before it got us. We won! Sometimes, life gets in the way and its hard VERY HARD to stay positive. I have literally had a week from hell. I have been arguing with my husband constantly, my hormones are ALL OVER the place, and to top it all off, I had to turn in my license plates for 32 days this morning because when my husband lost his job, we couldn't afford to pay car insurance and we had a lapse. I am devastated!! Now that I have my sleeve, I have lost my best friend, food!! No more love affair with my two favorite men. Ben and Jerry or crying over a bag of Double Stuffed Oreos... Nope! I still had to get up this morning, measure out my food, and move on with my life. Where is the happiness?? The Joy, the Blessing?? THE LIGHT???

For me, my new light is cooking. I have learned that I love to cook and my creations in the kitchen taste way way way better than a microwaved burger from the local fast food joint. My blessing is my husband, we just shared our 5th year anniversary and I am looking forward to many many more! My Joy is you! My friends, my support group, my family. My happiness can only come from within myself. It will never come from children, dogs, coach bags, OH conferences, the number on the scale, the new tummy tuck or boob job not even from the great lost love affair. It must come from within me! Like a wick held within the candle wax, the flame is held from within.

So I'm on a mission! I want you to light your flame!! Get on in to the kitchen and get cooking!! Chanukah is also a holiday, as are all the Jewish Holidays, jam packed with FOOOOOD! Fried food to remember the oil that burnt for 8 days...

My favorite Chanukah treat is Sufganiyot, which in English translates to deep fried Donuts (usually jelly even though I don't like Jelly). Even though this treat is NOT deep fried it is still donuts and VERY YUMMY!

Shelly's Mini Chocolate Mocha Protein Donuts

*This recipe has been reprinted for you with the permission of Shelly aka Eggface. 

It is my personal opinion, that Shelly is an angel and an excellent cook! She has saved me from Dunkin Donuts with her willingness to share recipes to replace the junk food I love. Everyone should check out her blog ~ The World According to Eggface

Ps. Shelly, please come out with a way to make us friendly double stuffed oreos! Thanks!!!

Ingredients1 cup Almond Flour (aka Almond Meal) 
1/2 cup Chocolate Protein Powder 
1/2 cup Multigrain Pancake Mix 
1 teaspoon Baking Powder
1 Taster's Choice Instant Coffee Tube
1 Egg, beaten
3 Tablespoons Sugar Free Syrup (I used SF Vanilla)
1 Tablespoon Canola Oil
1/4 cup Water
Super Groovy Mini Donut Pan


DirectionsPreheat oven to 325. 
Mix all ingredients till well combined. 
Spray Mini Donut Pans with Pam. 
Fill 1/2 full with batter (batter is the consistency of brownie batter). 
Bake for 8 minutes, remove from pan and cool on wire rack.



Donut Glaze
4 Mini Sugar Free Chocolate Bars (or milk, dark or white chocolate)
1 Tablespoon Sugar Free Syrup (any flavor will do)

Nuke for 30 seconds or so till melted. Stir to combine. Coats 12 donuts. 

For colored/flavored frosting: combine SF white chocolate & 3 drops or so of food coloring, SF Syrup and nuke for 30 seconds or so till melted. Stir to combine.

Dip cooled donuts into chocolate glaze and then into optional toppings.


Topping Ideas:
Crushed SF Candy (SF Candy Canes, SF Malted Milk Balls, SF Jordan Almonds)
Toasted or Untoasted Unsweetened Coconut
Crushed Nuts (Peanuts, Hazelnuts, Almonds)
Crushed Sugar Free Cookies
Peanut Butter Flour
SF Cocoa Powder 

Happy Chanukah!!

xoxo

Sleeve Pixie

Weight Watchers does it again!!

My mom came home from WW this am and told me they have changed their program YET AGAIN!!

They are now taking into account, protein, carbs, fat and fiber... Sound familiar to anyone?? Sounds a lot like us... no? Well maybe you don't track your fiber... but I do :-)

Weight watchers changes their program, about every 2-5 years... Every time claiming a new and improved, healthier, more balanced program. Is it ever ACTUALLY improved... maybe. But I'm not here to bash the good ole WW. This new change in their program did get me thinkin' though...

Why is it when i was goin to Weight Watchers 3 years ago they upped my intake from 35 points to 42 points claiming it was not the way to go, did I continuously gain weight while others were losing? Was I doing it all wrong? Was I eating my heart out and just not journaling properly? MAYBE!! But no... I wasn't cheating (yet...). I had changed my eating habits according to their "NEW AND IMPROVED" plan and it wasn't working. I remember talking to my leader Lauri and asking her if I could go back to the old program and sure enough the next week I lost weight!! But wait a damn minute here... How is it that old, out of style, non-improved program was working and the new shiny one wasn't??

The answer to this debacle my friends is that, there is no such thing as NEW AND IMPROVED dieting... Different strokes for different folks!! Weight Watchers 2007 may be great for my body while Weight Watchers 2010 may work better for my mom. Our Bodies are different. They respond to foods differently.

Fast Forward to my post op life... I have found that every doctor has a different set of rules. A different dietary guideline, amount of daily calories etc etc. Does that mean my doc is better than your doc? Heck NO!
When I had my lap band I was told 800-1000 calories. I didn't lose an ounce. I was working out 4x a week and lot losing an ounce. I upped my caloric intake to 1400 calories per day and Ta Da! The weight fell off. 20lbs that summer alone!!

You have to find what works for you. Experiment with your body. See if you need more calories or carbs or protein than your doctor thinks you need. Maybe you need a lot less than your doc recommended. If every patient followed the same set of guidelines without taking into account their BMR (the amount of calories you burn when in a resting state), as well as the speed of their metabolism, their weight (a person who is 400lbs cannot and in my opinion should not be living on 500 calories), etc then we wouldn't all be successful. We would be frustrated.

I am not saying you should start a riot at your surgeons office or anything like that but I am going to DARE you to take charge of your body and health. I double dog dare you to find what works best for you; To learn whats going on with your body and take charge!
To our health!

xoxo
Sleeve Pixie