Dear Obesity...

Dear Obesity,

There is honestly nothing dear about you... We first met at my birth. I was over 9lbs. Big baby! We continued our "friendship" throughout my childhood. I was cute, chubby, but not yet obese.

You started to rear your ugly head in about 2nd grade. You showed your red flags. I didn't know yet that you would be abusive. It started slowly. At first, you made my peers laugh at me and call me names. You started to isolate me.

Then you made me feel like a ton of bricks when my family couldn't carry me around anymore. They told me I was a big girl. Back then I thought it meant "grown up" but now I know I was wrong. As more time went on you made me feel insecure and weak. You made me think I was the problem. I wasn't... YOU were.

You cheated me. Robbed me of confidence and sense of self. I hid behind many masks as a young kid. Big frumpy clothes was a big defense for me. I hid you because I was ashamed of you. My shame only fed you and made you stronger. You stole away my summers. I never wanted to wear a bathing suit. Even in camp, the pool was torture. I believe everyone was staring at me, mocking me, mocking you...

My family tried to save me from you by sending me to fat camp. It helped in a way. You still controlled my body but I got back my mind. I found the confidence you snatched away from me all those years ago. I no longer looked at the floor when I walked through the crowds at school. I no longer wore baggy clothes and started to try new styles. As hard as I tried to overcome you... I failed... So many times I failed...

Things were a little better in high school. I didn't let you stop me from making friends or playing sports or even the occasional date. But you still continued to make things rough. People still made fun of me. You made me a doormat. I did everything for everyone. I had to work harder to make friends because you made it so hard for people to even want to give me a shot.

At the age of 16 you started to gain control again. Remember, it was the day you stopped me from riding the roller coaster. I gave up a big part of me to you that day. You took my BF next when he told me he no longer found me attractive. You stole my prom away from me. My date was a female friend. You took away my comfort every time I sat down to eat in public, every time I looked at a chair or a booth or a bathroom stall. You robbed me of the freedom of doing all the things my friends did because you instilled in me a fear that told me I couldn't.

The worst came when I met my now ex-husband... thanks a lot for that btw... You robbed my marriage blind for years. You made me wear a machine over my face each night when I went to bed. You stole from me 2502 nights that I could never sleep in his arms. You stole from me... the abilty to cook him dinner and the ability to clean our house. But there was nothing worse then you stealing away my ability to give him a child.

As much as you stole from me, the worst part of it all... I completely let you... Eventually my ex got tired of being robbed and so did I.

I made the decision then and there you wouldn't be allowed to control me anymore. You wouldnt tell me not to walk there, sit in that chair, get on that amusement park ride, talk to that guy, buy that dress, go to the beach or anything else you never allowed me to do. You are no longer allowed to make me feel bad or ugly or shameful. I now know that I am beautiful and worthy of more then you ever allowed me to have. So good bye obesity. I am taking the keys and getting in the drivers seat of my own life. FOR GOOD!!
 
Since I've let you go, I've walked... the Brooklyn Bridge and the runway. I've rode the roller coasters in Las Vegas and Coney Park. I've spoken to that guy... and that one and that one too, while wearing that dress on the beach! With all this new found control over my life... who knows what I'll do next!
 
xoxo
SleevePixie
 

Tracie's Story

Hello WLS friends! Today I am writing to you about a story that is near and dear to my heart! Along my journey, I met a woman, one of us, a WLSer, named Tracie. Tracie has given me full permission to share her story so I wanted to bring some light. This is not to scare away newbies from WLS. I happen to think Weight Loss Surgery is an amazing gift that I have been given. This is just to shed some light and a hope of finding help for a beautiful young woman that I am blessed to call my friend.

Tracie is now 29 years old. She lives in a home with her boyfriend in southern California. She had RNY/Gastric Bypass in December 14, 2009 with a surgeon who will remain nameless as I don't want to come up against a lawsuit. She recovered for two days post-op in the ICU and was eventually sent home. Her surgery was a total disaster! From what I understand, it looks like Tracie was operated on by students who were not very well supervised by the surgeon. Tracie's pouch was made to be smaller than the size of a teaspoon.

After a few weeks she realized something was wrong. When she transitioned to her mushy phase of her post-op diet at 6 weeks, she couldn't hold down even a bite. Her surgeon insisted she wasn't eating the right things or the right way. She was told to chew 20 times before swallowing and to wait 10 minutes between bites. No matter how diligent she was her pouch rejected the food!

Upon returning to her surgeon he said she was no longer his problem and she needed her pouch stretched. she received a referral to a gastroenterologist who performed the esophageal  balloon dilation on her close to 10 times!! It never worked. Surgery after surgery, from attempts to stretch her pouch to exploratory surgery, scar tissue has built up in Tracie's innards. They not cannot find her pouch.

Tracie has sought the advice of a lawyer. When the lawyer looked at her medical records, she was told there is no recourse for her because in tiny tiny microscopic print on the bottom of her consent form she gave consent to be operated on by students. I don't know if that micro print also says she is not allow to sue as a result of complication but I assume is does.

Now at 29 years old, Tracie has had to quit her job as a teacher and on most days barely has enough energy to do anything. When I talk to her on the phone she sounds tired and weak. I have spoken to every surgeon I know and every friend I can think of who may have been able to help her and it seems we are going no where. Many surgeons wont touch her and the ones who will wont take her insurance. She is on Medicare/Medi-cal in California.

If you are a surgeon who is willing to help my dear friend Tracie, please email me @ SleevePixie@gmail.com.
Please friends, talk to your surgeons about Tracie!! See if there is ANYONE out there who would be willing to help her.

More about Tracie, She has hopes and dreams! She wants to have a baby but cannot carry due to her severe nutrition deficiency. She has already had one miscarriage. She would like to go back to work and teach again. She wants to live and wants a life! She has been living on water and pedialite since 2009. She has been in and out of the ER multiple times twice in the last week alone. the ER doctor has told her she has so much scar tissue from her breast bone to her pelvis there is nothing they are willing to do. Her primary care doc at this point has her all drugged up because she is in constant pain.

Please help me help Tracie. I don't know if we could start a fund for her to help her get a reversal. I have two surgeons who have said they would help her but that would involve relocating for a little while and she just doesn't have the money! Any ideas, advice ANYTHING let me know!

xoxo,
SleevePixie