The Importance of Support...

For those of you who don't know me or may not have read my blog until today, let me take a brief moment and introduce myself. My name is Rachel aka Rachelena aka Sleeve Pixie, depending on where you know me from. I am an almost 3 year post op and a revision patient which I guess makes me only a 2.5 month post-op yet again. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a Social Worker. I have run a small tight knit bariatric support group for almost two years now and I love every moment of it. I am a strong believer in support.

We always here the term "support" in the WLS community and how important it is, but NO ONE ever takes the time to define what support actually means. According to dictionary.com...

SUPPORT –verb (used with object); 

1.

to undergo or endure, esp. with patience or submission.

2.

to sustain (a person, the mind, spirits, courage, etc.) under trial or affliction: 

3.

to maintain (a person, family, establishment, institution, etc.) by supplying with things necessary to existence; provide for.

4.

to uphold (a person, cause, policy, etc.) by aid. 

This is what we are supposed to do, right? To undergo with patience; to help sustain a person mentally or physically when they are down and to help a person maintain by providing education, ideas, love, support, friendship mutual aid etc...

I define a support group as a group of people that share a similar experience or situation. These people are able to motivate each other through the hard times and laugh with them through the good times. They do not judge them for the things they do that may not equate with the cultural norms and by culture I mean the group culture, in our case WLS. This system will generally share similar values and ideals about their situation. This is my idea of what a support group SHOULD be. 

There are 4 support groups I am active in. One, the one I run, Post-Ops Supporting Each other on  Long Island. POSE is a live support group that meets every other week. We share about our victories both on the scale and off and discuss our perceived failures. The group has a strong bond and trust one another enough to be able to motivate each other and confront each other when needed. While this is not by any means an educational group, it does serve its purpose to the members. 

The second group I participate in more of a social group. We are a bunch of people who get together for dinner once a month and enjoy the comfort of food in the presence of others who get it.

The third group I participate in is my surgeons support group. While I have only been going a short time, and I don't really appreciate surgeon run support groups, I believe it is important to give back. We have many pre-ops in this meeting and they look to us for advice. 

Lastly, the BBGC or Bariatric Bad Girls Club is an online support group with hundreds of people. The reason I cal myself a proud member of this group is because we share very similar values. Values I have not found anywhere else. The BBGC believes in reality. In the idea that THIS is now our life. Not some permanent diet we have to be on for the next 60 years. Yes you will notice our symbol involves a cupcake, the ultimate bad food... sugar, carbs and fat all rolled into one miniature cake. This does not symbolize a "badness" it symbolizes an awareness. An awareness of our food addiction, of what it took to get us here, of the reality that we all must live with on a daily basis. Some not nearly as rosy as mine or yours. 

The BBGC has been getting a lot of flack lately from all different sources because we believe its ok to eat a cupcake once in a blue or whatever your issue is with us. But for us, this is working. This lifestyle is what keeps us from being a suicide statistic or from regaining our weight. Many people don't believe its ok to make bariatric friendly "bad" food like donuts for example... but this is what keeps me away from the Dunkin Donuts drive through so WHY THE HELL NOT?

So if this is not for you, thats ok! Go find a group that is... and if there isn't one... do what I did and START ONE! There is plenty of room for all of us. 

There are many support groups in my local area and online that I do not and could not call myself a member of. Why? Because I cannot stand for the things they do or believe in or the message they put out as a group. Does that make them horrible... not necessarily. It makes them different. It makes them not for me. But maybe, for someone else, that is EXACTLY what they need. 

I hope in the year 2K11 you find yourself a group that meets your needs and that we can all start realizing that each post-op is an individual with individual needs and we need to stop prescribing a general condition for the needs of ALL bariatric patients on an emotional level.

In love and support,

Sleeve Pixie